First things-first, please be very clear that MARRIAGE is not same as LOVE
Second, when I hear cringeworthy stuff like “Marriage is a continuous Loss-makingbusiness”.
or
something that is even more cringeworthy is: do you do marriage compatibility or Kundali Milan- makes me wonder what we can do to really give this institution of marriage-
A strong foundation that needs to be Re-Laid in present time and circumstances.
Contemplation 1
Just imagine, the marital relationship and equation you have is dramatically different from your parents and that in turn that is dramatically different from their parents (Your Grandparents)
Imagine your unique conditions please.
But if you look deeper, the essential fundamentals remain the same, despite whatever.
During high school, two quotes about statistics made a huge impact on me:
Lies, dam lies and statistics.
Statistics are like miniskirts, they hide more- then what they show.
What do I mean?
Let me address the so-called men of logic, science, and the so-called social media savvy-internet at the click of a finger, people, and generation?
The Generation of Heartbreak, Infidelity and Divorce
This is year 2024 and let me share with you the divorce rates of some countries.
This is data reported by the United Nations in 2024.
The country with the highest divorce rate of 5.6 is Maldives.
United States has a divorce rate of 2.5%.
and
India has a divorce rate of 0.1% (Hey one of the countries with lowest Divorce Rates)- Congratulations
I shall come to the discussion soon, but I should set the context least Some of the terminally unique. -As per science People try to deduce conclusions that are convenient to their situation, and which are totally contradictory to normal civil, rational, scientific behaviour’s or what Indian astrology or spirituality stands for.
Contemplation and the Sword of Truth:
So, think about it,
Maldives has a divorce rate of 5.5%, but the total population of Maldives is less than 600,000 people.
So total amount of divorces would be around 2900 approximately.
The divorce rate of United States is 2.5%. Please consider the total population, the complex and the painful process and the high costs involved.
Closer home in India, the divorce rate is 0.1%.
Please do some math yourself and calculate- what is 0.1% of 2 billion people.
Tum Se Na Ho payega
Main Hi Bata DetaHoon
0.1% of 2 billion people is 2 million people.
So as per published data by the UN In India 2 million people get divorced every year- yes sir – only reported figures.
That being said- as the new generation gets exposure or rather influencing exposure from societies like United States or marketers who are always trying to sell something, including cheating, distress, extramarital affairs, adultery, or porn.
This rate is not accurate and if you are following me, you deserve better or can do better.
Many good and well-meaning folks are trying their best to keep the balance between the best of both the worlds.
On one end is desired outcomes & behaviour’s influenced by instant needs and on the other societal norms-please contemplate on this subject
Now welcome to the going back to school, The Guruji Shrii Arnav way:
Marriages=9
The 9 questions one must ask if you do NOT want your marriage to be doomed- The “MY MATCHUP” – the Guruji Shrii Arnav Way:
My Matchup=9
Above 9 Search Guruji Shrii Arnav and the power of 9 and
9:12 the Guruji Shrii Arnav’ way.
Please allow me to share three things here that I have been saying for 30 years now in my professional capacity:
In the eyes of God and higher power, sharing oneself-physically, mentally and emotionally at the same time with another person constitutes one marriage.
Contemplation
Now you should decide how many marriages you have had.
Birth, death and marriage are not in our hands and cannot be controlled- Mostly- Mostly.
What most of think of Kundali Milan or Match Making compatibility for marriage-practiced in India is utterly pedestrian.
If after reading this, by any chance, you want me to do a compatibility match, let me tell you that is NOT happening because I have NEVER done it and I don’t have the need for it
-Chehra Hi Qafi Hai besides this is not your only birth.
Still, if your logical mind wants a structured validation or real good advice
A good place to consult would be to consult AbhijitaKulshrestha.
I am giving you the link here to connect with her. She will guide, handhold, give great direction and be non judgemental:
Here Is the Link:
The nine questions I describe below are further divided into four subsections, making a total of 9×4 equivalent to 36 factors called as Gunas- Virtues, and that being said, matchmaking and marriage compatibility is not child’s play -Chattis Gun ToSunaHoga.
A low score of 18 out of 36 can translate into a fantastic marriage and a high score of 32 can be lead to divorce- so consult wisely.
So, what are we waiting for?
Let us invest our knowledge in this divine institution that keeps the world sane and provides us with a partner, companionship and camaraderie that no other relationship can provide.
9:12- The Guruji Shrii Arnav’s way of “ My Matchup” for a real marriage really made in heaven:
I share today the ultimate formula and a powerful quote.
Contemplations on these will solve most of the issue’s marriage. Under each of the headings of My Matchup you need to think of you and your partners life situations.
Also I am giving a powerful quote for further meditation that is akin to powerful sound and word frequency to aid you further.
1- M – Missions (Are our life goals compatible?)
Life goals extend beyond career and finances; they include personal desires like family planning, lifestyle choices, and where to settle. For example, if you dream of a cozy life in a small town but your partner craves urban adventures and frequent travels, discussing these differences now is crucial.
Remember, significant life goals tend to remain consistent over time, and ensuring you share similar aspirations can prevent future conflicts.
“Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.” — Antoine de Saint-Exupéry-
2 Y- Yearning (Are we sexually &Sensually compatible?)
Sexual compatibility is crucial in marriage, involving mutual attraction, preferences, and understanding of each other’s desires and boundaries.
Discussing sexual expectations openly, even if challenging, ensures both partners feel fulfilled and respected.
Remember what I said- each section has a sub section and in this point are also sections of desire and fertility also.
For example if for you having a sexual union one time in two months is just fine – you will not be compatible with a partner for whom two times a day is the norm.
This section also answers all issues related to childbirth etc.
“Sexual expression is so powerful and fundamental to our lives that it can either enrich or disrupt our emotional well-being.” — Dr. Judy Kuriansky
3- M – Money (Are we financially compatible?)
Financial issues are a common cause of tension. Compatibility here means more than having similar incomes; it involves shared perspectives on spending, saving, and managing finances together.
Discuss whether your financial habits and goals—like saving for a home or managing debt—complement each other.
Transparency and mutual respect in financial matters lay a solid foundation for your future together.
“Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.” — Christopher Marlowe
4- A – Acceptance (Can I accept their flaws?)
Everyone has imperfections. They might be as simple as occasionally forgetting dates or as complex as handling stress poorly.
Reflect on these traits and consider whether they are quirks you can accept or serious issues that might strain the relationship.
Love involves embracing someone wholly, flaws included, without expecting them to change post-marriage.
“A good marriage is not just about marrying the right person, it is also about being the right person.” — Unknown
5 T – Talk (How well do we communicate?)
Effective communication is essential. It’s about more than just speaking; it’s about being heard and understood.
Evaluate how you both handle difficult conversations and whether you can express needs and resolve disagreements without escalating conflict.
This ability is vital for navigating the ups and downs of a shared life. “The first duty of love is to listen.” — Paul Tillich
6- C- Convictions (Do we share the same values?)
Shared values are the cornerstone of a strong relationship. They influence decisions, behaviors, and mutual understanding.
If your core beliefs about loyalty, honesty, and family roles are in sync, you’re more likely to move through life in harmony.
Differences in fundamental values, however, may pose challenges too great to overlook.
“Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow.” — Swedish Proverb
7- H – Harmony (Do I like my partner enough to spend forever with them?)
Beyond love, liking your partner is fundamental. This means enjoying their company, valuing their opinions, and finding joy in shared moments—even the mundane ones.
The everyday interactions, not just the milestones, will make up the fabric of your life together.
Ask yourself if you can truly appreciate these everyday moments with them.
“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” — Friedrich Nietzsche
8- U – Unity (How does my partner handle stress?)
Observing your partner’s response to stress reveals much about how they will cope with future challenges. Whether they withdraw, seek support, or let off steam through hobbies, understanding and complementing each other’s coping mechanisms can strengthen your relationship.
It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” — Hans Selye
9- P – Pressure (How does my partner handle pressure and stress?)
How your partner deals with pressure can affect you, your relationship, and how you both handle difficult times together.
Observe how your partner responds under pressure. Do they communicate and ask for help, or do they try to manage everything on their own?
Understanding your partner’s stress response and how it meshes with yours will give you an idea of what to expect in marriage.
“The greatest marriages are built on teamwork, mutual respect, a healthy dose of admiration, and a never-ending portion of love and grace.” — Fawn Weaver
My Dear wonderful human being if you want to give your marriage a chance- a real one- or you want to get married and make it a real success this is what you should after contemplating on above.
The Matchup Contemplation and meditation Exercise that you should really give a shot:
Enter our favourite Fridays and The Planet of Love, Luxury and all nectar in the relationships: Venus.
Set 9 Fridays’s – a dedicated time- where you watch a movie I suggest below.
What fun- Yes, Be beautiful, dress up, make your surroundings luxurious and indulge and watch the movie.
Poor and Boring Stuff- each will indulge all your senses for the optimum effect:
9 Fridays – just about 2 months will make you a magnet
1. M – Missions (Are our life goals compatible?) Discussing life goals is crucial to see if you’re looking in the same direction.
Movie: “Up” (2009) – As Carl and Ellie’s shared dream of adventure illustrates the importance of having aligned life aspirations.
2. Y – Yearning (Are we sexually compatible?) Sexual compatibility ensures both partners feel fulfilled and respected.
Movie: “Annie Hall” (1977) – Demonstrates the complexities of intimacy and personal connection in a relationship.
3. M – Money (Are we financially compatible?) Financial compatibility is about understanding and managing finances together.
Movie: “It’s a Wonderful Life” (1946) – Shows how financial struggles and shared goals affect a couple’s life together.
4. A – Acceptance (Can I accept their flaws?) Accepting your partner’s flaws without expecting them to change is key.
Movie: “Good Will Hunting” (1997) – Highlights accepting someone for who they are, including their past and imperfections.
5. T – Talk (How well do we communicate?) Effective communication is essential for expressing needs and resolving disagreements.
Movie: “Before Sunrise” (1995) – Centres on a couple’s deep conversations that explore their thoughts and feelings profoundly.
6. C – Convictions (Do we share the same values?) Shared values influence decisions and behaviors in a relationship.
Movie: “Pride and Prejudice” (2005) – Elizabeth and Darcy’s story reflects the importance of aligning personal values and mutual respect.
7. H – Harmony (Do I like my partner enough to spend forever with them?) Liking your partner and enjoying their company is as important as loving them.
Movie: “When Harry Met Sally” (1989) – Captures the essence of enjoying and liking your partner in day-to-day life.
8. U – Unity (How does my partner handle stress?) Understanding how your partner deals with stress is crucial for a supportive relationship.
Movie: “Forrest Gump” (1994) – Shows how the characters support each other through various personal trials and tribulations.
9. P – Pressure (How does my partner handle pressure and stress?) Seeing how your partner manages under pressure reveals their coping mechanisms.
Movie: “The Pursuit of Happyness” (2006) – Illustrates resilience and support in facing life’s pressures together.
Exercise
Does Any movie in your language or culture reflect these 9 situations and questions. Please feel free to send the lists- especially in the mentorship groups.
Further cementing Exercises:
Now My Love, If you have done the above- You are a good candidate for a Good Solid Marriage.
After going through the preparation above- perform the meditations/ contemplations better together for best outcomes:
Contemplations on My Matchup
M – Missions (Are our life goals compatible?)
1. How do our future aspirations align or differ, and how can we support each other in achieving these goals?
2. In which areas do our life goals conflict, and how might we resolve these differences?
3. How important is it for our career paths or lifestyle choices to be closely aligned for a successful marriage?
Y – Yearning (Are we sexually compatible?)
1. How comfortable are we discussing our sexual preferences and expectations with each other?
2. What steps can we take to ensure both partners feel satisfied and respected in our sexual relationship?
3. Are there any concerns or boundaries we need to address to improve our sexual compatibility?
M – Money (Are we financially compatible?)
1. What are our individual attitudes towards saving, spending, and managing debts, and how do they influence our relationship?
2. How would we handle financial decisions or challenges that might arise in our future together?
3. Can we identify any financial habits in each other that we admire or find challenging?
A – Acceptance (Can I accept their flaws?)
1. What flaws or habits do we each have that could potentially challenge our relationship, and how do we feel about them?
2. How can we foster an environment where it’s safe to discuss and accept each other’s imperfections?
3. Are there any deal-breakers, and how do we differentiate them from acceptable flaws?
T – Talk (How well do we communicate?)
1. What communication methods work best for us, and how do we handle misunderstandings?
2. How can we improve our communication during conflicts to prevent escalation?
3. Are there subjects we find difficult to discuss, and how can we approach these more effectively?
C – Convictions (Do we share the same values?)
1. Which core values are most important to each of us, and where do we see eye to eye?
2. How do our values impact our expectations of each other and our relationship?
3. In areas where our values differ, how can we respect and accommodate these differences?
H – Harmony (Do I like my partner enough to spend forever with them?)
1. What qualities or traits do we most admire in each other that contribute to liking one another?
2. How do we envision spending our day-to-day life together?
3. Are there habits or behaviors we need to adjust to ensure ongoing harmony in our relationship?
U – Unity (How does my partner handle stress?)
1. How do we each react to stress, and how does it affect our relationship?
2. What strategies have we found effective in managing stress individually and as a couple?
3. How can we better support each other in times of stress to maintain unity in our relationship?
P – Pressure (How does my partner handle pressure and stress?)
1. Can we identify a time when pressure tested our relationship, and how did we handle it?
2. What can we learn from each other’s coping mechanisms under pressure?
3. How can we proactively prepare for future pressures that might test our relationship?
9 Questions and 3 contemplations above to bring 27 Realisations
9 and
9:12 – The Guruji Shrii Arnav Way
Manthan Meanings Churning Darling- Doing these together will give you a deeper understanding of each other and cement meaningful deeper bonds.
Pitfalls and the 9 Cretins:
There are some Cretins that try to spoil a perfect match and these 9C’s need to be handled differently.
These are good examples of NOT marriage- Nonetheless need to be addressed.
There is a way for this too:
The 9 Cretin Questions- The 9 C
Is my Marriage a compromise?
Is My Marriage a civil Arrangement?
Is my Marriage because of Children and their welfare ?
Is my marriage a convenient contract that gives me a license to do what I want?
Is My marriage a mere approval of the clerics and the clergy?
Is my Marriage a contract?
Is my marriage a social chandelier?
Is My marriage for care and survival?
Is My marriage a Drama of the Charlatans?
9:12
Kya Aap Astrologer Hain?
Nahi
Kya App Kundli Milan Karte Hain?
Nahi
AapneMujhekyon Akela Chodh Diya
Nahi
BTW
How Many Times have you married?
After a thousand I stopped counting.
I deserve better than this?
But of course- You do – My Dear.
Give real marriage a chance- I hope you will- with this.
Mujh Se ShadiKarogi/ Karoge
Nahi
Marriage is a sacred & Divine Institution. Majority of us with a name and identity came into the world because of it- Let us make it Great again
I pray that you get married to such a partner that others can exclaim
NOW THAT IS A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN
Because
As Becauz
Psst
9:12 The Guruji Shrii Arnav Way
Note: Please share this with someone who needs it.
#MarriageMissions#YearningForMore#MoneyMattersInLove#AcceptTheFlaws#TalkItOutTogether#CoreValuesCount#HarmonyInLove#UnitedInStress#PressuresOfPartnership#MatchupMarriageGuide#LoveAndLogic
Key To Symbols/Formulae
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Search Guruji Shrii Arnav & The Power of 9
12 Sacred Laws of Karma Meditation
9/12: Power of 108
Squaring the Circle-Circling the Square
9/12- The Guruji Shrii Arnav way.
MMBD- Madhu MakkhiBithaDijiye
Namaste- I bow to your Soul
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